I was almost late for my Rizal class and good thing i was not because i don't want to sing in front of my classmates. our discussion was a little bit fun because we talked about the women of Rizal and our teacher even showed us some pictures that had awoken some of my classmates. But after our class, I felt weird. It was like something was going to happen but i just didn't mind it at all.
Me and K went to the library. We were reading on an article that was assigned to us by our instructor. After reading, we talked about a bunch of stuffs and even our exes. I told her that i saw J the day before. And I also told her that I was hurt but I don't know the reason why. I also told her that if i could see J today, i would go nuts. A couple of minutes later, We saw J.
K and me were shocked. He sat a table away from us. I wanted to cry. I want to go near him, slap him and ask him why he hurt me when not once i had hurt him. But I just can't. Something held me and reminded me that he was good for nothing, it also reminded me that I was also lucky because if it wasn't for the breakup, I would have not seen a man who was so true on what he says. I kept on diverting my attention, but every time i could see even his silhouette, It was like the world was crashing down on me once again.
I don't know exactly what I'm feeling. I don't know if it is all because of hate or there's still a part of me that clings on to him... I just don't know. I just want to...
Thursday, November 27, 2008
11-26-08
Wednesday, I was not feeling quite myself. my mind kept on wandering. thinking of other things that possibly could happen. And yet I was bored once again with my day.
It was one of the typical college day life that everything seemed so slow. i felt as if i was in one of those slow motion scenes from a movie.
It was so hot. The heat was too much that i was really sweating a lot. I saw D. but both of us seemed not be in the mood for talks. We just both said our Hi's and Hello's but nothing after that. It was that time that i forgot how cute he was and just focused on how to escape the pricking heat.
After our class, as we were going down the stairs, we crossed ways with J. I never expected that we could possibly cross ways during that time. He looked at me, and I was also looking at him. I thought i was over him but when i looked at him, something inside of me still hurts. It's like a part of me still clings to him and wished that we could say our proper goodbyes. Though it was my decision not to say our proper goodbyes, it made me think that i was wrong.
I want to hold him for one last time. I want to hear that he was also hurt when i left him. I just want...
It was one of the typical college day life that everything seemed so slow. i felt as if i was in one of those slow motion scenes from a movie.
It was so hot. The heat was too much that i was really sweating a lot. I saw D. but both of us seemed not be in the mood for talks. We just both said our Hi's and Hello's but nothing after that. It was that time that i forgot how cute he was and just focused on how to escape the pricking heat.
After our class, as we were going down the stairs, we crossed ways with J. I never expected that we could possibly cross ways during that time. He looked at me, and I was also looking at him. I thought i was over him but when i looked at him, something inside of me still hurts. It's like a part of me still clings to him and wished that we could say our proper goodbyes. Though it was my decision not to say our proper goodbyes, it made me think that i was wrong.
I want to hold him for one last time. I want to hear that he was also hurt when i left him. I just want...
11-22-08
Saturday. i always loved this day because i can see D for the whole day. Though, every Saturdays we have quizzes but that's ok.
Nothing much really happened. Just some new crazy discussions that i have to store in my head again. But during our lunch break, it made my stomach feel like there were some butterflies.
Me and C were from the canteen. Going back to our building, we crossed ways with D and M.
D: "sa'an ba 'to ilalagay? sa clear folder ba?"
Ahm ok, has anyone seen my soul? I was so kilig to the max that i want to pinch myself to keep my sanity intact.
Me: "OO, sa clear folder"
I was holding out my notes for my database classes
D: "Para sa database ba yan?"
Me: "OO, nakakuha kasi ako ng copy sa isa sa mga classmates natin"
D: "Magpapaphotocopy ka ba? pwede sumama nalang sa inyo para makapa photocopy na rin ako?"
ME: (stupid as it seems) "Sure bah. kaw pa?"
On our way to the photocopy station, D and me talked and talked(my god. can't this last forever?). I was so totally out of myself already that during our discussions during afternoon, it took me so long to process it.
I want this feeling to stop. And I'm trying so hard not be tempted...
Nothing much really happened. Just some new crazy discussions that i have to store in my head again. But during our lunch break, it made my stomach feel like there were some butterflies.
Me and C were from the canteen. Going back to our building, we crossed ways with D and M.
D: "sa'an ba 'to ilalagay? sa clear folder ba?"
Ahm ok, has anyone seen my soul? I was so kilig to the max that i want to pinch myself to keep my sanity intact.
Me: "OO, sa clear folder"
I was holding out my notes for my database classes
D: "Para sa database ba yan?"
Me: "OO, nakakuha kasi ako ng copy sa isa sa mga classmates natin"
D: "Magpapaphotocopy ka ba? pwede sumama nalang sa inyo para makapa photocopy na rin ako?"
ME: (stupid as it seems) "Sure bah. kaw pa?"
On our way to the photocopy station, D and me talked and talked(my god. can't this last forever?). I was so totally out of myself already that during our discussions during afternoon, it took me so long to process it.
I want this feeling to stop. And I'm trying so hard not be tempted...
Thursday, November 20, 2008
11-20-08
I woke up 6 am with a banging noise of my bedroom door. It was my yaya.
Yaya: Em, nandito na yung Uniform mo. Hinatid ni Lika.
Me: Huh? anong oras na ba?
Yaya: 6 am pa.
I went to the sala and met up with them. Ate Lika is the yaya of my cousin.
With a sleepy head, I woke up to my excitement to fit my uniform. As I fit my uniform, I was devastated. It was too loose. I had no time to go to the seamstress and let her fix it up. So I decided fix it on my own. It took me an hour to fix it up. At least now it looked much better.
_____________________________________________________
I arrived at school just in time. I forgot once again that I'll be having an exam, good thing it was just an essay type. It was all about Rizal(Duh? of course it's about Rizal! It's the descriptive title!). After class, I felt so tired. Maybe because I didn't have much sleep last night.
As I walked through the crowds of busy students, I kept on thinking where could D possibly be? As I passed student by student, I kept on looking for any physique that it could be D(OMG here I go again! Just like in my previous school!). But I haven't had a single glimpse of him.
After eating lunch, Tado, Me and Kim were the only ones who had a vacant time. We went to the library to escape the heat. I saw Glen's sister. I always envy her hair, it was so beautiful to look at. I diverted my attention to make my assignment in literature(I always forget to make assignments!).
We didn't have any discussions again during literature class. We continued on our film showing about Troy. I was bored. Though Brad Pitt's body made me drool a little, still I was bored.
During ethics, our teacher pointed some stuffs which makes some of our actions which were unethical. We were talking about honesty, race, gender, etc. which we could relate to our current situations. The topics being discussed were tempting me to make tons of blogs about it(Just keep up-to-date with my blogs so that you can read the posts).
_____________________________________________________
I came home with a growling stomach. I was tired from class, though the traffic was not that bad, but the drive made my feet ache like hell! Good thing the foods were on the table right away.
I chatted with my mom(who's out of the country) and told her what I was doing. Instead of getting appreciation, I got a lecture instead. I listen to her but there are some things I have to fight for myself. Such as letting other people know what I think(that's the purpose for my blog). It's not a crime to do self expression. Rizal even did it(and eventually got himself killed). But that's the point! Living a life without people knowing how you really feel is as if you didn't even exist!
Yaya: Em, nandito na yung Uniform mo. Hinatid ni Lika.
Me: Huh? anong oras na ba?
Yaya: 6 am pa.
I went to the sala and met up with them. Ate Lika is the yaya of my cousin.
With a sleepy head, I woke up to my excitement to fit my uniform. As I fit my uniform, I was devastated. It was too loose. I had no time to go to the seamstress and let her fix it up. So I decided fix it on my own. It took me an hour to fix it up. At least now it looked much better.
_____________________________________________________
I arrived at school just in time. I forgot once again that I'll be having an exam, good thing it was just an essay type. It was all about Rizal(Duh? of course it's about Rizal! It's the descriptive title!). After class, I felt so tired. Maybe because I didn't have much sleep last night.
As I walked through the crowds of busy students, I kept on thinking where could D possibly be? As I passed student by student, I kept on looking for any physique that it could be D(OMG here I go again! Just like in my previous school!). But I haven't had a single glimpse of him.
After eating lunch, Tado, Me and Kim were the only ones who had a vacant time. We went to the library to escape the heat. I saw Glen's sister. I always envy her hair, it was so beautiful to look at. I diverted my attention to make my assignment in literature(I always forget to make assignments!).
We didn't have any discussions again during literature class. We continued on our film showing about Troy. I was bored. Though Brad Pitt's body made me drool a little, still I was bored.
During ethics, our teacher pointed some stuffs which makes some of our actions which were unethical. We were talking about honesty, race, gender, etc. which we could relate to our current situations. The topics being discussed were tempting me to make tons of blogs about it(Just keep up-to-date with my blogs so that you can read the posts).
_____________________________________________________
I came home with a growling stomach. I was tired from class, though the traffic was not that bad, but the drive made my feet ache like hell! Good thing the foods were on the table right away.
I chatted with my mom(who's out of the country) and told her what I was doing. Instead of getting appreciation, I got a lecture instead. I listen to her but there are some things I have to fight for myself. Such as letting other people know what I think(that's the purpose for my blog). It's not a crime to do self expression. Rizal even did it(and eventually got himself killed). But that's the point! Living a life without people knowing how you really feel is as if you didn't even exist!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
PROBE - Priest
11-20-08
When I came home from McDonald's last night, I turned on the TV and I was shocked by the topic that was broad casted on PROBE.
What's wrong with the Church?! The church issued a statement that all men who would enter a life of Celibacy would have to undergo a psychological test to see if he could endure a life without marriage or might not be homosexual in due time. I know God only created man and woman, but homosexuals are also human beings! I thought discrimination was against the Golden Rule?? What's wrong with having a priest that's not sure with his gender?? At least he wants to serve the lord rather that throwing himself around and not serving the Lord.
Hello?? We're in a different era already?! That's called being your true self. It's also much better than someone who's just pretending to be faithful. I have seen priests who don't act their priestly ways. And it makes me sick!
This reaction might trigger a lot of priest, but come on! Look at the news! There were news reports about priest gone mad and had turned to do some crazy stuffs! And to think we are living in a Christian Nation. Isn't just that too ironic??
When I came home from McDonald's last night, I turned on the TV and I was shocked by the topic that was broad casted on PROBE.
What's wrong with the Church?! The church issued a statement that all men who would enter a life of Celibacy would have to undergo a psychological test to see if he could endure a life without marriage or might not be homosexual in due time. I know God only created man and woman, but homosexuals are also human beings! I thought discrimination was against the Golden Rule?? What's wrong with having a priest that's not sure with his gender?? At least he wants to serve the lord rather that throwing himself around and not serving the Lord.
"Having a priest that's not sure of his gender is much better than having a priest who rapes and threatens his victim."
Hello?? We're in a different era already?! That's called being your true self. It's also much better than someone who's just pretending to be faithful. I have seen priests who don't act their priestly ways. And it makes me sick!
This reaction might trigger a lot of priest, but come on! Look at the news! There were news reports about priest gone mad and had turned to do some crazy stuffs! And to think we are living in a Christian Nation. Isn't just that too ironic??
MyLot
11-19-08
Thanks to my friend, Seishiro, I have found a new world where I can surf and enjoy myself reading reviews. This site is called MyLot. MyLot widens our internet experiences and it does help kill time. By reading reviews and discussions, not only is it helpful for further knowledge, it would also let us enjoy not knowing how many hours have passed just reading the reviews and discussions. We could also earn cash at MyLot, make new friends and share the news with the online community. It's up to you to join, but I'm pretty sure MyLot is really fun.
Thanks to my friend, Seishiro, I have found a new world where I can surf and enjoy myself reading reviews. This site is called MyLot. MyLot widens our internet experiences and it does help kill time. By reading reviews and discussions, not only is it helpful for further knowledge, it would also let us enjoy not knowing how many hours have passed just reading the reviews and discussions. We could also earn cash at MyLot, make new friends and share the news with the online community. It's up to you to join, but I'm pretty sure MyLot is really fun.
My Life
11-19-08
I arrived at school earlier than I expected. I thought my friends were still having classes so I decided to pass my time over the bench. I had an awkward feeling when I was there so I just went to the classroom and waited till the instructor arrived.
Chang arrived a couple of minutes later, then our instructor arrived. I forgot that we were going to have a test on our technical writing class. Thought I passed the test, most of our classmates got a score below 10 which was funny because it was just a review test based on grammar.
After our class, we headed out for lunch and met Ketch at the bench with our other friends. That's when Ketch told me, "Em, nakita ko si uggoy kanina papunta sa main building, feel ko may clase siya pag 11:30". Ok Ketch, thanks for telling, that's why I had an awkward feeling while I was there an hour ago. Uggoy(real name Josh), was my ex. We broke up a day after Sinulog, and he was one of the reasons why I decided to transfer to another school.
While waiting for my next class, I saw D. He really looks like my bf but he was far better(Oh please someone slap me to remind me that I have a boyfriend!)! He graduated HS where I graduated and he was a transferee last summer. We talked on how hot the day was and he teased me about my fan which put me kilig to the max!
Database was boring and it was so hot that I felt so sleepy. To keep my self awake, i just kept on highlighting my book till our instructor reminded us about our test on Monday(WHAT??? 3 chapters??? OMG I have to study a hundred pages! can I still keep up with that?).
Feeling like a total crap about the announcement, what made it worse while waiting for our friends, I heard one of D's friends that D will be graduating this march(come on! can my day get any worse??). As D walked by, I asked him if he was really graduating this march, and he said "OO". It was as if I felt my boyfriend was leaving me. Why?? Can't he just stay a bit more?? Not only he reminds me of my boyfriend, but he also reminded me about my 2 year crush, A, at my previous school.
As the hours passed, I spent it with my boyfriend, Glen. He was the one who was with me during my break-up a couple of months back. He put me back on track and made me feel special. But still...
I arrived at school earlier than I expected. I thought my friends were still having classes so I decided to pass my time over the bench. I had an awkward feeling when I was there so I just went to the classroom and waited till the instructor arrived.
Chang arrived a couple of minutes later, then our instructor arrived. I forgot that we were going to have a test on our technical writing class. Thought I passed the test, most of our classmates got a score below 10 which was funny because it was just a review test based on grammar.
After our class, we headed out for lunch and met Ketch at the bench with our other friends. That's when Ketch told me, "Em, nakita ko si uggoy kanina papunta sa main building, feel ko may clase siya pag 11:30". Ok Ketch, thanks for telling, that's why I had an awkward feeling while I was there an hour ago. Uggoy(real name Josh), was my ex. We broke up a day after Sinulog, and he was one of the reasons why I decided to transfer to another school.
While waiting for my next class, I saw D. He really looks like my bf but he was far better(Oh please someone slap me to remind me that I have a boyfriend!)! He graduated HS where I graduated and he was a transferee last summer. We talked on how hot the day was and he teased me about my fan which put me kilig to the max!
Database was boring and it was so hot that I felt so sleepy. To keep my self awake, i just kept on highlighting my book till our instructor reminded us about our test on Monday(WHAT??? 3 chapters??? OMG I have to study a hundred pages! can I still keep up with that?).
Feeling like a total crap about the announcement, what made it worse while waiting for our friends, I heard one of D's friends that D will be graduating this march(come on! can my day get any worse??). As D walked by, I asked him if he was really graduating this march, and he said "OO". It was as if I felt my boyfriend was leaving me. Why?? Can't he just stay a bit more?? Not only he reminds me of my boyfriend, but he also reminded me about my 2 year crush, A, at my previous school.
As the hours passed, I spent it with my boyfriend, Glen. He was the one who was with me during my break-up a couple of months back. He put me back on track and made me feel special. But still...
"BLOG"
11-19-08
I used to write blogs 2 years ago but I stopped 'cause I was to busy and my thoughts were too childish. Now I've come to my senses and planned to start making new and different blogs. It is based about my likes, and dislikes, comments, my life and all other stuffs. My blogs may not be as great as the others but at least I unleashed my thoughts. So, shall we get it started??
I used to write blogs 2 years ago but I stopped 'cause I was to busy and my thoughts were too childish. Now I've come to my senses and planned to start making new and different blogs. It is based about my likes, and dislikes, comments, my life and all other stuffs. My blogs may not be as great as the others but at least I unleashed my thoughts. So, shall we get it started??
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