11--27-08

I was almost late for my Rizal class and good thing i was not because i don't want to sing in front of my classmates. our discussion was a little bit fun because we talked about the women of Rizal and our teacher even showed us some pictures that had awoken some of my classmates. But after our class, I felt weird. It was like something was going to happen but i just didn't mind it at all.

Me and K went to the library. We were reading on an article that was assigned to us by our instructor. After reading, we talked about a bunch of stuffs and even our exes. I told her that i saw J the day before. And I also told her that I was hurt but I don't know the reason why. I also told her that if i could see J today, i would go nuts. A couple of minutes later, We saw J.

K and me were shocked. He sat a table away from us. I wanted to cry. I want to go near him, slap him and ask him why he hurt me when not once i had hurt him. But I just can't. Something held me and reminded me that he was good for nothing, it also reminded me that I was also lucky because if it wasn't for the breakup, I would have not seen a man who was so true on what he says. I kept on diverting my attention, but every time i could see even his silhouette, It was like the world was crashing down on me once again.

I don't know exactly what I'm feeling. I don't know if it is all because of hate or there's still a part of me that clings on to him... I just don't know. I just want to...